Titilade Ilesanmi tells mothers childbirth does not end their beauty
Titilade Ilesanmi has urged mothers to reject the idea that giving birth marks the end of their attractiveness, in an essay published on BellaNaija on 26 September 2026. The piece, carried on the lifestyle platform, addresses common self-image struggles women face after having children and offers personal reflections and practical reminders. (BellaNaija)
Ilesanmi opens by noting a frequent private thought among mothers: “I don’t look the way I used to.” She writes that physical changes after childbirth can include weight gain, changes to the stomach and face, and other differences that lead some women to question whether they are still beautiful. The observations and advice in the essay are drawn from her own experience, she says.
She describes a period when she struggled with self-image, followed by a time when she “genuinely felt free” and could look at photographs without immediately searching for flaws. She then says she noticed herself “slipping back into old habits” of comparison, and realised she had stopped intentionally encouraging herself.
To guard against that slide, Ilesanmi sets out four core truths she says mothers should hold on to. First, she writes that each person was “created beautiful by your Creator,” and that changes to the body do not alter that fundamental worth. Second, she says “Motherhood does not cancel your beauty,” adding that being a mother can coexist with dressing well and enjoying femininity.
Third, Ilesanmi argues that “Your body does not determine your value,” noting that body shape or appearance should not define purpose. Fourth, she emphasises the need to “keep speaking over yourself,” explaining that maintaining a positive self-view requires active, ongoing reminders.
She asks readers to imagine the mind as a gate, and warns that daily inputs such as social media, cultural expectations and past experience constantly press against that gate. While people cannot control everything projected at them, she writes, they can choose what to accept as truth.
Ilesanmi closes with practical encouragement. She tells mothers they are allowed “to care for your body,” “to want to look good,” “to enjoy being feminine,” “to take pictures,” and “to celebrate yourself,” but cautions against making identity dependent on appearance.
The essay is published in BellaNaija’s Showcasing Africa to the world section and presents personal testimony and guidance for mothers dealing with body changes after childbirth.
Featured image: Ibalogun via Wikimedia Commons, CC BY-SA 4.0.
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