A BellaNaija feature revisiting two interviews from 2024 reports on how moving abroad affected the marriages of two Nigerian couples, one in the Netherlands and one in the United Kingdom. The couples described financial strain, altered household roles and the need for clearer communication as central to their adjustments, BellaNaija said.
Praise and Oluwaseyi: Netherlands, childcare and money
BellaNaija reported that Praise and Oluwaseyi married in 2020 and moved to the Netherlands in 2022 with their young son. The couple said the early months tested their relationship as they faced job rejections, high rent, expensive daycare and the challenge of learning a new language.
Praise told BellaNaija, “There was a particular moment a few months after our relocation when we found ourselves reevaluating our marriage and the state of our lives. We were both on edge, engaging in frequent arguments and disagreements over trivial matters,” describing how those pressures accumulated.
The couple said they responded by restructuring household finances. According to BellaNaija, “One remarkable change was that we placed more structure into our finances by assigning expenses to each other. For instance, rent and utilities are taken by one person while black tax and others are taken by the other.”
Oluwasanmi and Abigail: UK, planning and shared chores
BellaNaija reported Oluwasanmi and Abigail married in Nigeria in 2022 and relocated to the UK the same year. The couple said their prior conversations about money and responsibilities helped them adapt after moving.
Oluwasanmi told BellaNaija that preparing for a baby required him to take on most house chores while also working and handling errands. He said the lack of extended family in the UK meant tasks that could be delegated in Nigeria had to be managed by the couple or paid for.
Abigail told BellaNaija they had largely kept the way they ran their home from Nigeria, saying, ‘each person just has to put in a little more work.’
Common themes and caveats
Both couples, BellaNaija reported, said communication, financial planning, patience, faith and compromise were important to navigating life after relocation. The feature noted that relocation affects couples differently depending on finances, careers and family circumstances.
These accounts come from the two couples interviewed by BellaNaija and do not represent a comprehensive study of marriage and migration. Readers should treat the stories as the couples described their personal experiences to the publication.
Featured image: Ibalogun via Wikimedia Commons, CC BY-SA 4.0.
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